Bitch Slap

2009

Action / Comedy / Crime / Thriller

29
Rotten Tomatoes Critics - Rotten 29% · 18 reviews
Rotten Tomatoes Audience - Spilled 29% · 10K ratings
IMDb Rating 4.5/10 10 14470 14.5K

nun diamond spy shotgun dark comedy stripper

Plot summary

Three bad girls - a down-and-out stripper, a drug-running killer, and a corporate powerbroker - arrive at a remote desert hideaway to extort and steal $200 million in diamonds from a ruthless underworld kingpin.

Director

Rick Jacobson Photo
Rick Jacobson

Top cast

Rick Jacobson Photo
Rick Jacobson as Horndog
Dennis Keiffer Photo
Dennis Keiffer as MacDaddy
Robert Mammana Photo
Robert Mammana as Prison Guard John
Christine Nguyen Photo
Christine Nguyen as Nasty Nubile Escort
720p.BluRay 1080p.BluRay
942.98 MB
1280*544
English 2.0
NR
Subtitles us  
23.976 fps
1 hr 49 min
Seeds 5
1.76 GB
1920*816
English 2.0
NR
Subtitles us  
23.976 fps
1 hr 49 min
Seeds 13

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by edumacated 5 / 10

how sweet it ain't.

if it wasn't for face paint and implants, the three leads would be pumping mocha mixer into Java at an L.A. convenience store for tips.and the screen writer should be making change for the same franchise.unfortunately; pulp fiction, spawned a legion of foul-mouthed wannabee scribblers, and this script is a glowing, specious example of that diseased, copy-cat genre.the one redeeming thing in this film is the cinematography. it is very well shot. the format is well used, and the d.p. understands that the secret to good visuals is good lighting--something often overlooked by d.p.'s who jumped rungs on the ladder and skipped the lighting department. because of this, i actually watched most of this feature, even beyond the five minutes it took me to become bored with having that much silicone rubbed in my face.a modern Thelma and Louise it ain't.
Reviewed by MBunge 4 / 10

He's a fine performer, but Michael Hurst should never be the best thing about your film.

If you took the look of Maxim magazine, the sound of a devoutly Mormon Quentin Tarantino and the soul of an empty plastic bottle of Sprite, threw them all into a tin pot and then blasted the pot with a WWII flamethrower, the melted-together mess would be something like Bitch Slap. This thing is like a B movie/exploitation flick made by people who've never actually seen a B movie/exploitation flick. It's about nothing but sex, violence and bad language where the sex is tamer than a 6 week old kitten, the violence is about as exciting as watching an episode of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers and the bad language goes to such absurd lengths of euphemism that it leaves you longing for the bluntness of porn dialog.There are twin plot lines in this disaster. One concerns Trixie, Hel and Camero (Julia Voth, Erin Cummings and America Olivo), three tarted-up bad girls who drive into the dessert looking for the treasure of Gage (Michael Hurst), the guy wearing a thong they've got stashed in the trunk of their car. The other is a series of flashbacks that move backward in time, like that episode of Seinfeld, detailing the who, what and why of the first storyline. That dual approach gets really old, really fast but there are so many other things wrong with Bitch Slap that it doesn't even make the Top 10 list of how this film sucks.That list would be as followsÂ…1. There is only one pair of naked breasts in this entire film and they don't belong to any of the starring actresses.2. There is only one so-called sex scene in the entire film and both participants remain fully clothed the entire time.3. Michael Hurst is, far and away, the best thing in the entire production. I like the guy and all thatÂ…but come on!4. The flashbacks look like Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, if that movie's budget had been $67.50.5. The filmmakers rip off The Usual Suspects, though they don't even deserve to say the name "Keyser Soze".6. The entire production thinks it's waaaay funnier than it really is.7. The fight scenes look like a cross between pro wrestling and the fight scenes on the original Star Trek.8. Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor show up for one scene and DON'T make out.9. Kevin Sorbo shows up and looks like he got paid for this movie in Prozac.10. The same two characters fight the same climactic battle twice.The most pitiful thing about Bitch Slap is that the whole thing is constantly straining to be over the top and outrageous, yet only manages to wander in the general vicinity of that on two occasions. Once with a razor-tipped yo-yo and once when a woman gets bitten in the crotch. Other than that, this film is never more over-the-top or controversial than an episode of Blossom.Bitch Slap was made by some guys who worked on Hercules: The Legendary Journeys and Xena: Warrior Princess. They apparently set out to create some R-rated trashy, campy fun. What they ended up making was a PG-13 version of those same TV shows.
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