It's Not a Burden: The Humor and Heartache of Raising Elderly Parents

2021

Action / Documentary

2
IMDb Rating 7.2/10 10 34 34

Plot summary

IT'S NOT A BURDEN: The Humor and Heartache of Raising Elderly Parents is a feature-length documentary that provides an intimate look, presented with humor and heart, at the relationships between aging parents and the adult children who care for them, examining the challenges they face and the solutions they discover along the way.

Director

Michelle Boyaner Photo
Michelle Boyaner

Top cast

Maxine Lapiduss Photo
Maxine Lapiduss as Self
Esther Lapidus Photo
Esther Lapidus as Self
Brother V. Kenneth Photo
Brother V. Kenneth as Brother Kenneth
Michelle Boyaner Photo
Michelle Boyaner as Self
720p.WEB 1080p.WEB
793.96 MB
1280*710
English 2.0
NR
Subtitles us  
23.976 fps
1 hr 26 min
Seeds ...
1.59 GB
1904*1056
English 5.1
NR
Subtitles us  
23.976 fps
1 hr 26 min
Seeds ...

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by evening1 6 / 10

Important

As newborns, we can't go it alone. Here's a film that shows that older people, long past the "cute" stage, need just as much care and support -- and that ain't always easy, given relationship strain that may have come before.Director Michelle Boyaner describes how her mother, who had eight children, abandoned the family when Michelle was a kid. Now that her mom has dementia, it's fallen to Michelle to ferry her to doctor appointments, the beauty parlor, and other necessities.Michele seems to take it in stride, as do other sandwich-generation caregivers we meet in this film, who have varying levels of closeness with their forebears.I attended the Pittsburgh premiere of this lively documentary, which Michelle and her partner/cinematographer have been showing around the country. Their topic is timely, given the population explosion among seniors these days.We're introduced here to diverse adult children grappling with questions of how and where their parents should spend their final years. The children of a Pittsburgh performer moved her seven times in 20 years when they saw problems in her placements. In one instance, they'd been paying $6,000 a month, yet their mom seemed lonely or neglected. So at one point we observe extraverted Esther -- who emerges as the engaging heart of the film -- philosophically adjusting to new digs at age 95.We also meet a daughter who's renovating her home to accommodate her wheelchair-bound Mom. In another case, a family wants to leave dad in place, but hires a decluttering firm to return the dwelling to livability.In a post-screening panel discussion, we were told that self-care is key. Without it, one may face emotional upheaval or burnout. Guilt, be gone!
Reviewed by ookpik-02386 9 / 10

Beautiful helpful and heartfelt!

I am currently helping to care for my aging Mom. I saw this movie and loved it. It gave me tools and more than anything made me realize I'm not alone. I know every family deals with this differently but this story of love, humor and forgiveness helped me deal with my own situation and made me appreciate how much a simple documentary can speak to so many. Thank you filmmakers!I was actually nervous to watch it at first, afraid I would be too sad - I don't know why. I am so glad I watched it - it left me feeling uplifted and like I had tools and I would think about other peoples stories as I am going through mine.
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