Noah's Ark

2024 [PORTUGUESE]

Action / Adventure / Animation / Comedy / Family / Musical

5
IMDb Rating 4.3/10 10 755 755

lgbt noah's ark

Director

Sérgio Machado Photo
Sérgio Machado

Top cast

Luis Miranda Photo
Luis Miranda as Serpente 2 / Corça / Sheyla / Texugo
Rick Zieff Photo
Rick Zieff as Serpent 1 / Rhino / Badger
Bruno Gagliasso Photo
Bruno Gagliasso as Kilgore
Rachel Butera Photo
Rachel Butera as Miss Ferret / Mr. Ferret / Serpent 2 / Hyena 2 / Deer / Amy
720p.WEB 1080p.WEB
933.76 MB
1280*720
Portuguese 2.0
NR
Subtitles
23.976 fps
1 hr 41 min
Seeds 15
1.87 GB
1920*1080
Portuguese 5.1
NR
Subtitles
23.976 fps
1 hr 41 min
Seeds 13

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by konrad-296-152616 3 / 10

Technical failure

While I agree with other reviewers that the plot is thin and the characters shallow, what really bothered me was the fact that the movie is rendered with so few frames per second that I constantly sat in the cinema with a feeling that the movie image must be buffering and stuttering due to slow internet connection.
Reviewed by shannonhaynes-50053 1 / 10

Absolute Garbage

Was expecting a cutesy kids film that probably didn't adhere too much to the traditional account but this strayed so far it didn't even make sense. The plot was so thin it was almost transparent. The characters were one dimensional. Shem, Ham and Japheth were no where to be seen. It was nice that Grandma Ruth (Mrs Noah) was a woman of colour but a bit weird that she kept making potions to fix her ancient ailing idiot of a husband (Noah). There were lines added obviously for modern relevance that didn't add anything to the story (and they could have done if they weren't just isolated oddities) like one about not getting the one male one female, what about all the other types of families? Or God getting too many voicemails when one text would have done. All in all just a total mess.
Reviewed by rebeltaz-18705 1 / 10

An Abomination

Of course it's Today, so you know that Noah and his wife Ruth are a ... mixed marriage. Noah is portrayed as a bumbling lunatic, while his wife uses potions and magic to heal him when he gets sick. Luckily, they aren't in the film more than five or ten minutes total, though that is more than enough. For some reason, their granddaughter (who looks suspiciously like a little boy) is on the Ark with them, but the little girl's parents are no where to be seen, nor are any of Noah's children.Then you've got the animals. They spend the entire time trying to eat each other and fighting over "who controls the Ark" while the humans do nothing. There is only one gorilla, and one bear, but they want to throw a hissy fit over three mice being onboard. I mean, if we're going to be a stickler for the rules, let's be consistent.The script was written to try and be "modern" - what with Noah complaining about God's voicemails and text messages - but it just makes the whole thing cringe. I swear when the lion declared the competition "fake news," I just knew that he was going to come out sporting a certain blonde hairdo.The entire movie is boring beyond words. It's not cute. It's not entertaining. It's not fun. The ONLY redeeming quality was the lion's song was a LITTLE catchy. Other than that, this whole thing is utterly forgettable. There are FAR better adaptations of this Biblical story, including the many animated versions.
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