Saint Bernard

2013

Action / Fantasy / Horror

6
Rotten Tomatoes Critics - Rotten 40% · 5 reviews
IMDb Rating 5.3/10 10 254 254

Plot summary

A classical musical conductor unravels into the abyss of insanity.

Director

Gabriel Bartalos Photo
Gabriel Bartalos

Top cast

Cesha Ventre Photo
Cesha Ventre as Parisian Crowd #11
Jason Dugre Photo
Jason Dugre as Bernard
Andy Forrest Photo
Andy Forrest as Bernard's Father #2
Warwick Davis Photo
Warwick Davis as Othello
720p.BluRay 1080p.BluRay
870.5 MB
1280*714
English 2.0
NR
Subtitles us  
23.976 fps
1 hr 37 min
Seeds ...
1.53 GB
1920*1072
English 2.0
NR
Subtitles us  
23.976 fps
1 hr 37 min
Seeds 4

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by selfdestructo 3 / 10

Ouch

So, Gabe Bartalos decided to make a surreal art film. That might be an insult toward art films, and I hate them.What you've got is 98 full minutes of complete and utter nonsense. The plot goes like this: Bernard wants to be a composer, and he carries around a rotting, severed Saint Bernard head in a sack. The End. Your welcome.I bought this solely based on how much I dug his previous (and only other) film, Skinned Deep. I really enjoyed it's wild, balls-to-wall, retro-exploitation vibe, and was hoping for something at least in the same vein. Boy was I wrong! Saint Bernard is filled with puzzlement, infuriation, and maybe worst of all, boredom. I couldn't wait for it to be over with.EDIT 03/15/22: This Blu-ray has a spectacular making of extra on it. I've bumped up my score a little, as it gave me a new appreciation of what they were able to accomplish. I will revisit this movie in the future. There is an incredible story on here about guerilla filmmaking that is insightful, clever, and absolutely hilarious. At one point, Gabe is talking about the detail of the props, and says it is used to "propel the narrative forward." One thing Saint Bernard does NOT have, is a narrative.
Reviewed by napalmas 10 / 10

Criminally uknown

If you're one of those people who came to realise they've seen all the "weird" movies and feel a bit disheartened about how few of those are there (especially any good ones), then getting your hands on this film will feel like finding stash of gold in your backyard. Even if I were to give away most of the moments in this film, it's still impossible to realistically spoil it. It is done in spirit of "Begotten" but without brutality and deceptive references to the occult.
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