The Machine

2023

Action / Comedy

40
Rotten Tomatoes Critics - Rotten 86% · 26 reviews
Rotten Tomatoes Audience - Upright 86% · 500 ratings
IMDb Rating 5.7/10 10 17776 17.8K

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Plot summary

Bert Kreischer faces a familial crisis and the arrival of his estranged father when the ghost of his booze-soaked past arrives: a murderous mobster hellbent on kidnapping Bert back to the motherland to atone for his crimes. Together, he and his father must retrace the steps of his younger self in the midst of a war between a sociopathic crime family while they attempt to find common ground.

Director

Peter Atencio Photo
Peter Atencio

Top cast

Mark Hamill Photo
Mark Hamill as Albert
Bert Kreischer Photo
Bert Kreischer as Bert
Rita Bernard-Shaw Photo
Rita Bernard-Shaw as Ashley
Martyn Ford Photo
Martyn Ford as Sponge
720p.BluRay 720p.WEB 1080p.BluRay 1080p.WEB 1080p.WEB 2160p.WEB
1.01 GB
1280*536
English 2.0
NR
Subtitles us   fr   de   it  
23.976 fps
1 hr 52 min
Seeds 7
1.01 GB
1280*534
English 2.0
NR
Subtitles us   fr   de   it  
23.976 fps
1 hr 52 min
Seeds 8
2.07 GB
1920*804
English 5.1
NR
Subtitles us   fr   de   it  
23.976 fps
1 hr 52 min
Seeds 6
2.07 GB
1920*800
English 5.1
NR
Subtitles us   fr   de   it  
23.976 fps
1 hr 52 min
Seeds 24
1.88 GB
1920*800
English 5.1
NR
Subtitles us   fr   de   it  
23.976 fps
1 hr 52 min
Seeds 3
5.01 GB
3840*2160
English 2.0
NR
Subtitles us  
23.976 fps
N/A
Seeds 7

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by apitchko 5 / 10

It's allright...

Full disclosure, I am russian. Bert is very funny guy and he should stick to comedy. His machine routine was funny enough but it didn't translate well to movie. His story actual story is quite dark, and it goes through very bad time in Russia, but he makes a good humor story of this mess in his standup. Where he makes a funny standup, the movie falls well short of his act. Romanian setting with western actors speaking horrible, bearly understandible Russian, with even worse translation; was the funniest part of the movie for me. Over the top caricature characters can only take movie so far, it needs a good script.
Reviewed by anthonyroskoski 7 / 10

Good also Funny, But Not Amazing

The movie itself was pretty funny for the most part. I would also agree that it was a little slow at times too. Burt performing on-stage is truly authentic and amazingly funny. For a 1st time actor, I thought he did really well. Some have rated this movie with low scores forgetting that this is a stand-up comedian acting in a major motion picture about his life and never experiencing the acting role before. If you hated this movie and decided to post negative remarks and ratings, I cannot relate. I have read some of these negative reviews and it is clear that some people believe that they themselves are Siskle & Ebert themselves. The movie is funny, was it the best comedy I have ever seen NO. But to bash a movie just because it wasn't your cup of tea is an insult to reviews as a whole. When I dislike something, I simply choose to remember the morales my mother and father taught me as a young child. I keep my opinions and negative thoughts to myself. Go see the movie, it's pretty funny.
Reviewed by Terrorformer 2 / 10

If you're a fan of Bert, you'll probably like it.

If you're like me, you'll find this insufferable. It's incredibly unfunny. I don't think I even cracked a smile once during the duration. I mean I'll be honest with you tho. I never found this whole Machine story funny to begin with. I always thought Bert Kreischer was a try-hard. So when I saw they were making a damn movie about this stupid story, it was a big eyeroll for me.I mean there's plenty here that's bad. The acting, the "comedy," even the cinematography is generic at best. The fact that Mark Hamill is in this, tells you all you need to know lol. That dude was good in like 2 things and that was like 30 years ago lol.Lastly I just gotta do like I always do and point out the 10/10 ratings. Y'all are crazy as hell. PERFECT movie. Quit rating this on your feelings. Learn to view things objectively. If I scored this on how I felt it would be 0. But I'm giving it a 2 because it does have some minor redeemable qualities.
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